Lessons of Six Months

If anyone is keeping track, you know that I’m a bit behind on my blog of monthly parenting lessons. I have learned that I am just going to have to accept the fact that my schedule is no longer my own. At any time a little one can get sick, or go through a growth spurt, or have their sleeping patterns change, and my carefully crafted agenda goes out the window. However, I still appreciate the practice of recalling the lessons I have learned as I experience my first year of being a parent. Since my little one turned six months the same month as Father’s Day, my plan was to write what I’ve learned from watching my husband be a father. Despite my tardiness, I’m sticking with that plan.

Dads should be tough and tender – I’m blessed by the fact that not only am I married to a man who is a great father, but I had a great dad myself. One of the things I’ve learned from watching both of them is that a good dad is both tough and tender, and knows when it is best to exhibit each of these characteristics. One of the things I appreciate about my husband is that even though our child is very young, he is already purposefully and intentionally correcting her behavior when it is needed. However, I also value the fact that he desires to provide her comfort and reprieve from pain what that is appropriate. Dads have a difficult job; the good ones know when they need to be tough, but they are equally (and maybe even more eagerly) adept at showing compassion and love.

Dads and daughters have special smiles – When I tell the story of my little one being born, I often include the fact that my favorite part of the experience, besides my little girl’s arrival, is seeing my husband’s face when she made her debut. I have never seen joy express itself in quite that way before. Similarly, my daughter beams with delight when her dad gets home from work. She smiles for a lot of people but there is a special one that is reserved for him. It’s the way it should be and it thrills me that they share this connection.

Dads bring the fun – I think I’m a fairly fun individual, but in my role as mom, I’m all about protecting my little girl. My husband, however, is great at balancing the need to protect her with the desire to make sure she has fun. Even at this young age, he’ll come up with new games that they can play together – all the while making sure that while she’s safe, she’s also busy learning to try new things. I haven’t managed to get it in writing  yet, but I’m hoping he will agree to teach her how to drive. I think I’m going to be the quintessential nervous wreck if that task is left to me.

Spiritual Leadership Starts Young – The most important role that a dad has is being the spiritual leader for their children. While it may be tempting to think this doesn’t apply until the child can engage in conversation, as I’ve already mention, children start learning things from a very early age. I so appreciate that my husband is purposeful about including our daughter in our desire to serve, honor and know God. It is our prayer that one day this desire will become hers as well.

Six months went by fast and it’s amazing to think of all the things I’ve learned in that time. I’m looking forward to what I will continue to learn – not only about being a parent, but about being the woman God desires for me to be.

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Lessons of the 5th Month

One of the things I have been reflecting on recently is how much a child changes during their first year of life. When you consider the number of things that they learn during that timeframe – from learning to hold their head up to learning to walk and say words – it really is a marvel. I would guess that there is no other single time in life when so much physical and mental growth takes place 365 days. With that being said, a lot of growth happens in the parent’s life during the first year as well. Here are some of the lessons I have learned over the past month:

Prepare to Be Humbled – It is inaccurate to say that this lesson is merely from the last month as I began learning it the first week of my child’s life. As someone who had been around a lot of kids throughout my life I thought I had a good grasp on what to expect from motherhood. It turns out I was wrong. Being a parent means being prepared for the unexpected and when the unexpected occurs it doesn’t take long to realize that there was no way to prepare for it. What you think you know can get turned on its head without a moment’s notice. Just as your child is learning to make sense of this world you are learning who your child is and how much you are reliant on God to parent them well. This lesson in humility is a good thing, but it doesn’t mean that it is an easy thing.  Yet God graciously redeems the difficult times to use them for His purposes and glory.

The Exception Shouldn’t Become the Expectation – Because your child is always changing, it is tempting to think that every new experience is a new milestone. For example, my husband and I took our kid to my work to meet some of my colleagues. Our little one was a trooper, staying up longer than normal and being pleasant the whole time. I thought this meant she had learned to consolidate sleep and extend time between naps. It turns out God was just generously allowing us to have some time to introduce her to others. When I start letting my expectations be shaped by the exceptions, I am bound to be disappointed. God doesn’t owe me a thing. The fact that He mercifully allows some days to go a little better than the rest as if the sun was shining down on me just a little bit brighter doesn’t mean He owes me those days. Instead I would do well to thank Him when they occur and to cherish them rather than count on them this side of Heaven.

Training Time – As I wrote about previously, it didn’t take me long to realize that even at a young age my child is beginning to understand things. Because of this, I know that I can begin, in very small ways, to train her in regards to how she should behave. What I’ve been reminded of, though, is that as I am training her, God is training me. He is molding and shaping me not only into the type of parent He wants me to be, but into the type of Christian He desires of His children. Recognizing that parenthood is one of the most refining experiences a person can go through makes me appreciate even more the privilege it is to be a mother.

Be The Example I Want Followed – Because my child is already beginning to make sense of the world around her, she is already beginning to observe my behavior and how I respond to things. Part of raising her up in the way that she should go means being an example of what I desire for her. It is my hope and prayer that she would come to know and serve Jesus at a young age and that her life would be defined as someone committed to Him. If this is what I want for her, I need to make sure that I am living the same way and therefore setting an example for her to emulate. She is learning all the time. I need to make sure that I’m teaching her the lessons  I want her to know.

It is such a privilege to be a parent. It is not without its challenges but the blessings are so very sweet. I’m grateful that God uses me even though I still have a lot to learn. And I’m grateful that in His perfect timing He teaches me just what I need to know.

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