Purpose

New (School) Year Resolutions

Like many parents, I view the start of a new school year with mixed emotions. As I have written about previously, there is some eager anticipation as we find out who our kids’ teachers will be, which classmates will be in their class, and what the workload for the school year will be. While there is a tendency to let this anticipation grow into a desire for my children to have the “best” situation for them, I have committed instead to let my hope for them drive me to pray that they will be a blessing to whomever God places in their path.

This year as I anticipate the start of school, I realize that just as the school year will afford my children many opportunities, their new classrooms and classmates also create opportunities for me. Each person in their class represents parents that I will encounter that, apart from my children’s classroom assignment, I would likely never meet. Not only will be children make new connections, but if I am intentional, so will I.

With this in mind, I prayerfully considered how I can use this school year to its fullest. Recognizing that while it is important that my children accomplish their educational goals, it is infinitely more important that I consider how our family might be used to accomplish God’s eternal objectives. In short, I must commit to use this new school year for God’s glory, and trust that as we do so, He will ensure that it is also used for my children’s growth.

Therefore, I have resolved that this new school year, I will commit to the following:

1. Pray for the Parents

I often pray for the students that my kids will encounter, mainly because I want my children to become friends with godly individuals. However, I have recently been convicted that I also need to pray for the parents of those kids. The purpose is two-fold. First, I pray for the parents because I want my kids’ friends to grow up in God-honoring households. I recognize that eventually the choices that these parents make could end up impacting my kid via their friends. If my kids have friends whose parents are holding them accountable to God’s standards, this makes it more likely that these friends will be encouraging my kids to make wise choices. This is a good thing!

Secondly, I pray for these parents that I might have wisdom on how to best minister to them. I want to have eyes to see those who are hurting and who need help, knowing that as I am a blessing to them, it may open the door for Gospel conversations. I had a profound reminder of this last year as my kids and I were leaving school one day. My social butterfly child was filling our walk to the car with a bevy of farewells. As she said goodbye to one child, his parent heard and determined that this was enough of a connection to ask for help. Although helping in the situation created a bit of inconvenience on my part, it turned out to be well worth it. As the group made the way to our family’s car, the kid’s parent saw my license plate frame for my church and drew the conclusion that it was because I was a churchgoer that I was willing to help. It was a powerful reminder that, as a Christian, I am always representing Christ. And if I am helpful to someone who has no expectation that I will do so, it can be a powerful testament of the love of our Savior.  

2. Open My Home

Although my husband has helped me become more apt to invite others for dinner and socializing, I have realized that I tend to host friends with whom I share the most in common – my Christian friends. While this may be natural, if I limit my dinner guests to only Christians, I am missing a wonderful opportunity. Inviting someone into your house almost instantly deepens your connection, building a stronger foundation upon which to have evangelistic conversations. In addition, when our family hosts others we still follow our normal practices of prayer before mealtimes, and in expecting biblical obedience from our kids. In and of itself this may initiate conversations regarding what we believe and the God that we serve . And these our conversations well worth having.

3. Give Invitations

I jokingly call my more outgoing child our family’s social coordinator because she has no problem extending invitations to others. She often invites people to have a meal with us, to visit with us, or to go with us on an adventure. She is equally as excited to invite people who don’t know God to come to church activities. Recently when our church had an outreach event, she immediately asked if we could invite a neighborhood friend who she knows is unchurched. I want to emulate this thoughtful intentionality as we enter a new school year, liberally inviting those we meet to come to church functions. They may not come, but that’s o.k.  Some may come, and that might be a first encounter which eventually leads them to Christ.

4. Speak of Eternity

My last new school year resolution is to speak often of eternal things. Most of the times conversations with school friends’ parents can stay on the surface and the trivial. However, these are not the really meaningful things in life. I am prayerfully and purposefully planning to interject these conversations with items of biblical significance as often as I can. This doesn’t have to be strange; after all, when I talk to my Christian friends we readily point to the meaning in the midst of the mundane. I can do the same with my conversations with non-Christians – even though in this case, it may be a one-sided endeavor. If someone is worried about which teacher their child will get, I can share that I’m not worried because I know that God is in control and He has a good plan. If someone asks for my advice, I can tell them which Scripture I am basing my perspective on. My heart and mind should be fixed on spiritual things and this should come out in my conversations, regardless of whether the person I am speaking to professes to believe the same things. As I do so, I prayerfully hope that the light that they see in me may cause them to ultimately long for the Light of Christ.

New school years are exciting times. But let’s remember that they are not primarily exciting because it means our kids will achieve new things. Instead, each school year provides new opportunities to share Christ and to be His hands and feet to those we may meet. Let us resolve to do this well that we might not waste any opportunity that God has given us to make Christ known and to share His love with those who don’t know Him.

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Relationships

The One Thing Your Kid Needs to Know Before College

As a college professor, I often am asked for my perspective when a friend’s child is getting ready to navigate the college application process. These are big moments in a young adult’s life, and as recent news has revealed, some parents are willing to go to great lengths to help their son or daughter realize their collegiate dreams (or perhaps, the dreams their parents hold for them). When asked, I always try to provide whatever insight I may have, although generally it is not much more than they could get from reading the instructions on the university’s website. Still, it seems to provide some comfort to hear from someone who is daily immersed in the college experience, and I am happy to encourage them as they start the journey.

Although I am willing to share what I have learned with parents about to launch their kids into university, it’s not the question I want to be asked. Instead, I wish that I was more frequently asked how to help ensure that the child is ready for college. Making a college selection is just one part of the process; the bigger, and often more neglected piece, is making sure that they are ready for the challenges and opportunities that college holds. If you make a college decision but aren’t prepared for the college experience, there is little value in having navigated the application process successfully. Setting your kid up for success in college is more important than having the right introductory essay.

As of yet, nobody has asked me that question, But should they do so – this is what I would share: the most important thing that you can teach your child before they leave home is the truth of the Gospel. This means that they need to not only understand the fact that Jesus died and rose from the dead for the sake of their sins, but they need to understand the reasons why that is “good news.”  Additionally, your high school graduate should know why you believe in the Gospel, the historical and archeological evidence in support of the Christian faith, and what other belief systems teach about eternity and how it differs from what Scripture teaches. Send your student to college with a clear understanding of what the Bible teaches, what that means for their life, and how to appropriately contend for their faith. Even if you are sending them to a Christian school, don’t relegate this most fundamental aspect of their education to someone else.

I would like to think that everything I have written above is readily accepted by Christian parents. In fact, when I originally started this post, I was going to write about something totally different, assuming that teaching our children the Gospel would be so self-evident that it didn’t need to be stated. However, after over a decade in higher education, I have found that it most assuredly does need to be explicit: if you send your child to college without a firm foundation in the Word of God, you are doing them a disservice. Many of them will be exposed to ways of thinking and lifestyles that they haven’t previously considered. When they are outside of your house, you will not be able to counter every false doctrine that they hear. Help them understand the reasons for the faith while they live under your roof. This won’t guarantee that they will walk with God, as ultimately that is the result of the Holy Spirit’s work on their life. But it does mean that you have helped them realize the futility of chasing things that have no eternal value. In other words, you are giving them every chance for college to be a success – not only preparing them for their future career but, more importantly, preparing them for a lifetime of service to God.

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