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Then Paul answered, “Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, “The Lord’s will be done.” – Acts 21:13-14

Preparing for any time of testing is difficult. Whether it’s a competitive game, a academic exercise, or a real-life circumstances, there’s prepartion that is required before success can be anticipated. Preparation refines our skills, teaches us lessons, and builds our strength. If my life is any indication, usually we know when we’re ready or if we’re just going to try to get by on a wing and a prayer. We know because we have confidence that we have done the work necessary to achieve our goals.

I think sometimes though we don’t undertake the same level of care with our spiritual preparation as we do making sure that we are ready for other events in our lives. We approach life with the recklessness of the rookie, rather than with the discipline of the battletorn soldier. We trust that our instincts will get us by, without refining what our instincts should be. We like to believe that God will supernaturally reinforce us without taking the time to build a foundation. Bad circumstances overwhelm us, because we never prepare for their eventual return.

In this case, and maybe in it only, what is true in athletics is also true spiritually. We can’t hope to achieve readiness in the midst of the circumstance; readiness is achieved beforehand. Knowing that te purpose of this life is to bring God glory and to worship Him, our preparations should consist of becoming more adept at that. Our practice comes when things are good, when life is (relatively) carefree and we don’t feel the desperate need for God that comes in times of trial. It is through this preparation that our skills are honed and our responses become instinctual. Right response is then not based on feeling, but on Who God is.

Paul had a very clear idea of what he would face as he entered Jerusalem. He made sure that he was ready to face it.

Are you?

“And when the LORD sent you out from Kadesh Barnea, he said, “Go up and take possession of the land I have given you.” But you rebelled against the command of the LORD your God. You did not trust him or obey him” – Deuteronomy 9:23

It was a moment of decision. All of God’s promises were about to be fulfilled. Obedience was the only thing that was needed. He had guided them each step of the way, they had to keep following. And they didn’t.

My pastor often refers to the Kadesh Barnea’s in our lives – the moments of decisions where we choose whether to follow God. He pulls the reference from the time when the Israelites had to choose whether to go up and fight the occupants of the promised land, or whether they would let their fear prevent their obedience. They choose the latter, and were forced to endure many more years of suffering and defeat.

What I’ve rarely heard discussed is that the Israelites did go up and fight. After they said “no” then they said “yes” – and they were defeated. They tried to circumvent God’s punishment by doing what He said – just after the fact. They thought intentions were just as good as actions – and they were wrong.

I think we do the same thing. We are called to something, we say “no” and we realize that we’ve made a mistake. Instead of asking God what He wants us to do now we continue to try to find our own way, while ostensibly convincing ourselves that we are following Him. It rarely works. He calls us to act in a moment in time. Our job is to obey when we hear His voice. When we choose differently, our job is to seek His voice again – not to attempt to do it ourselves because our pride mingled with guilt convinces us that we can make it right.We can’t make it right. Only the One who sees the whole picture can.

It’s sometimes difficult to recognize when were at Kadesh Barnea. The Israelites had disobeyed before and sometimes God is His mercy withheld punishment. Kadesh Barnea, though, changed the course of history. That’s why it’s important to always seek His voice and to follow after His ways.