Sweet Reunion

January 30, 2013 — Leave a comment
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Often times on this Earth, reunions are looked forward to with dread. High school and college reunions, even family reunions hold the foreboding sense of seeing people we once knew and not measuring up to their expectations. As a result reunions often motivate people to make changes in their lives – to kick bad habits, eat more healthily, change their appearance or pursue the dream that they have been ignoring. Knowing that they will “give an account” to people from whom they have been separated from a time, inspires many to alter the course of their lives so that others will not think that the time apart has been wasted.

Christians live their lives in anticipation of a reunion of a different sort – a day where we will be reunited with those in Christ who have departed this Earth in order to join Him in glory. Scripture tells us that this reunion should motivate us too – because as we look to the lives that they lived and the sinless state they know enjoy, we should eagerly work to “throw off” the sin the entangles us now (Heb. 12:1). We should be inspired to live more fully for Christ, not because we fear what they will think of us when we meet them again, but because we anticipate sharing in the glory they now enjoy and we recognize that they, as will we, consider every sacrifice for the sake of Christ’s Kingdom well worth it. Our reunion with them is not one that is upon with dread, but instead it will be filled with sweetness as we celebrate the work of Christ in each of our lives and enjoy the beauty and awe of being with Him.

It is understandable why so many reunions on this Earth cause consternation and despair. It is often difficult to measure up to what others think of us or the impression we want others to have of our lives. However, we would be better served to focus more on our future reunion – the one we will have with those in Christ we have gone before.  Not only will it help keep things here on Earth in perspective, but it will remind us of just one part of the sweetness of Heaven that we will one day enjoy.

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Saying the Same Thing

January 28, 2013 — Leave a comment
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There’s an old schoolyard game called “jinx.” To play the game, you and another person must say the exact same thing at the exact same time. The first one to say “jinx” after this occurs gets some sort of control over the other person. Depending on the version of the game you play either the “loser” has to buy the winner a Coke or they can’t speak until the winner says their name, or some other “punishment” is inflicted on them as a result of not saying “jinx” first. Presumably this game developed because kids realized the unlikelihood of two people uttering the same words simultaneously. It was a rare enough occurrence that when it did happen someone decided that it was worthy of further elaboration and amusement.

As adults, we recognize that whether we are saying the same thing as someone else or not, our tongue has a habit of getting us in trouble. In fact, James warns us of this very thing. The tongue can cause great destruction both to ourselves and to others. Controlling it is difficult, but necessary in order to live a life that pleases Christ.

One of the ways that we can make sure that we accomplish this is to make sure that our words are the same as Christ’s. In John 15:20 Jesus is preparing His disciples for His imminent departure. He is telling them that they will be persecuted and that they will suffer for His sake. He also says “If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.” Christ is telling His disciples that if they are careful to preach the same things that He did, then they can be sure that their words will penetrate the hearts of those who are His. Conversely, those who are not His will respond with hatred and contempt.

This should give us great encouragement and direction. If my words align with Christ’s then I need not worry about how others respond. Those who love Christ will respond with that same love to my words that mirror His message. When the world disagrees with what I say, when they revile me because of stance with the truth of His Word, I need not fear. I can take comfort in the fact that I’m saying the same things as my Savior.

Knowing the right thing to say is not easy. It is made even that much more difficult by the fact that we can never be sure how our words will be interpreted or received. However, if like the old game of jinx we can examine our words and know that our words are the same as those of Christ’s we can have confidence that our words will bring Him glory – regardless of how others respond or what they say.

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More Than Partners

January 24, 2013 — Leave a comment
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When preparing to give birth or when reading blogs or books about being a new parent, writers often talk about the role of the mother’s “partner.” Throughout the literature it is clear that mommyhood isn’t something that is intended to be done alone. If the mother takes on the full weight of responsibility for the little one’s life, not only will she quickly be overwhelmed, but the father is missing out on an important part of the parenting experience. Researchers want dads and moms to know that parenting is not a solo gig.

While I agree with the sentiments expressed by these authors, I found myself often tripping up over the word “partner.” As a businessperson one learns early on that a partnership is one way of establishing an organizational structure. A partnership is where two parties share both responsibilities and decision-making authority. Liabilities and assets, profits and losses are all to be shared between the partners. There is a mutual investment and all partners have an interest in seeing the enterprise succeed.

The trouble is that while the above description may seem to clearly reflect how many people approach marriage and parenting, a partnership is not an apt characterization of the biblical model of these things. Partnerships, after all, are transactional – it is about an exchange of ideas, money or other assets that allow all parties to benefit. Marriages are relational – it is not about each person protecting their own interest and obtaining their own success – it is about sacrifice and care for the good of your spouse. Partnerships are easy to dissolve and often are when they no longer are able to obtain their desired outcome; marriages are intended to last beyond any temporal condition and are about bringing God glory not about personal self interest. While marriage may envelope some of the principles of a partnership, a Christian marriage should move beyond these elementary ideas and should be seen both as a ministry – intended to reflect Christ to both your spouse and to the watching world – and a commitment that no contract or court can can abrogate. Neither of these things are transactional – they mean something more than simply an exchange so that two parties benefit.

It is easy to slip into the language of our culture and to talk about our spouse as our partner. And hopefully it is true that both our spouse and ourselves are invested in our marriage and our committed to its success. However, let us also recognize that merely having a partnership is not what God intended when two people are brought together as one. Let us approach our marriage as more than a partnership – to see it not as a transaction but as a relationship that can bring God honor and praise.

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First Month’s Lessons

January 23, 2013 — 2 Comments

If you talk to experienced parents the one thing that they all seem to agree upon is that the days move quickly. “Enjoy this time, it will be gone before you know it” is a common refrain. Although our little one is not very old, I can already see the truth of these words. Children develop and change at such a rapid pace – and although some days are long, the culmination of weeks seem to pass before you know it. As quickly as one month begins, it can seem like it is also coming to an end.

Because of the tendency for time to seemingly slip by before you can capture it, I wanted to take a few moments and articulate the lessons that I have learned in this first month since our little one’s arrival. The lessons here aren’t about the mechanics of parenting – insights on sleeping patterns or the best way to swaddle a baby. Instead, even at this young age, I’ve recognized that the habits I form now can have a impact on our daughter for years to come. It’s these lessons that I want to share.

1) It is never too early to pray for your child’s salvation, for their spouse, or for their salvation of their spouse. Because I’m up at random hours of the night, I have the opportunity to do a lot of thinking and a lot of praying. We have been praying that our little one would be great in God’s kingdom even before she arrived, but after her arrival it was impressed upon my heart that  she would likely one day marry and that this person would have a profound impact on her life. Even though I can easily count the number of days she has been on this Earth, I’m already petitioning God on her behalf and asking that He would protect and penetrate the heart of the man she will some day wed.

2) Use your time wisely. While this isn’t a new lesson, I’m applying it in new ways. My opportunities to do a bunch of things is limited by my responsibility to care for my little one, but that doesn’t mean my opportunities to use my time wisely are also limited. Because I’m at home a lot more it can be tempting to be undisciplined and focus only on her immediate needs. However, caring for her doesn’t mean that I can’t do other things as well. Already, my daughter has “heard” sermons as I listen to them while she nurses. Middle of the night wake-up calls are also calls to pray.  I definitely have room to grow in this area, but simply recognizing that I need to be intentional about how I use the moments of the day has been an important lesson.

3) Cherish the moments. In the  midst of all the transitions that the first month holds, it can be hard to really take stock of the blessings that have been showered upon your life due to the addition to your family. Just keeping things moving in a positive direction can seem to consume your energy. However, taking the time to notice your child’s smile or how their personality shines through even at this stage is important. Doing so reminds you of the gift that you have been given. Sometimes parents only recognize this in retrospect. Cherishing the moments as they happen not only prompts thankfulness but it helps you navigate the busyness with a greater grace.

4) Live in anticipation of their emancipation. This is a phrase that I learned from the pastor at my church. The goal is that children are only with you for a time.  Eventually, the hope is that they will become adults, live independently and establish their own families. Your commitment to your spouse, however, is for a lifetime. Don’t become so wrapped up in your child’s life that you neglect the more important relationship – the one that will last even when your child is no longer at home.

5) Helping hands are hands of blessing. It can be hard to accept help from others – especially if you are used to being the one to take care of details and are thought of as “having it all together.” However, the people who say to you “tell me what I can do to help” and really mean it, those who are willing to run errands, clean kitchens or prepare a meal, are such a blessing. Taking their help is humbling; giving such help is a blessing.

These five lessons are just some of the things that I have learned in this first month. I imagine that I will learn many more in the months ahead. I hope that as I do so God will graciously allow me to reflect Him as I become the type of mom that He desires me to be.

 

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Carefully Building

January 23, 2013 — Leave a comment
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Anytime you are involved in ministry, it is worth revisiting what Paul writes about in I Corinthians. In the opening chapters he reminds us, and the Corinthians, that doing ministry is not about personal acclaim (See I Cor. 1:10-17). After all, we can be diligent in ministry and yet never experience the fruit of our labors. To use his parlance, we may faithfully plant seeds, and another may water, and it is only on the other side of glory that they see the impact that our labor had (See I Cor. 3:6). As I often remind myself, it is not my job to ensure the results of the work I do for the Lord; He has that task completely under control. Instead, I must faithfully serve, and leave the outcome up to Him.

Not only does Paul clearly articulate this concern in I Corinthians, he gives us another motivation for being faithful in how we minister to those God puts in our path. He reminds us in I Corinthians 3:10 that the work that God is doing in someone’s life may not end or begin with our ministry to them. In other words, God may call a fellow believer to build upon what He accomplished through our service. If our service was half-hearted or lack intentionality, then the next person’s work will be more of a challenge. Our ministry impacts the ability of another believer to faithfully minister to the same person. We don’t serve God in a vacuum. The extent to which we represent Him well either enhances or inhibits other believers who may also be “building into” that person’s life.

This can be especially important to remember as we interact with the more challenging people God places in our lives. It can be easy to write them off because we don’t see the impact that our labor is having, but we should be cautious in doing so. After all, it may not be God’s plan for us to experience the change that He is bringing about in that individual.  In loving concern for those who may minister after us, however, we should carefully and faithfully work to build a foundation that will make their ministry easier. We are all aware of how difficult it can be to present the Gospel to someone who has had a bad experience with people claiming to be Christians. We don’t want to be the reason that another believer has a difficult time ministering to someone who previously crossed our path.

If we recognize the importance of this lesson, how will it practically impact our lives? One such way is that it will result in more intentionality in our interactions. Whenever we encounter someone who is not a believer, we should be mindful that our interaction with them may be part of a foundation that God is building. Additionally, as a result we should be more purposeful in our prayers or those that God brings across our path. We should be praying not only that God would do a work in their lives, but that those who will minister in their lives after us will be faithful to the call God puts on their lives. We should be praying not only for how God call us to serve that person; we pray for those who will minister to them long after our lives cease to intersect.

We can be quick to remind ourselves that we are not aware of how God is using each circumstance in our own life to bring about His plan. We should be equally quick to remind ourselves that we are often unaware of how He is using us in other people’s lives to fulfill His purposes. Let us be careful builders, therefore, as we don’t know what other bricks may need to be laid after us and whether our ministry just may be one step in bringing someone to Christ.

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Or Give Me Grace

January 22, 2013 — 2 Comments
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There is a popular saying that “there are no atheists in the foxhole.” The saying originated from the recognition that when we are in a difficult situation even the nonreligious are often quick to seek out assistance from a Heavenly Source. Of course, it’s not just foxholes were these prayers of petition are made. In circumstances that are much less dangerous many of us are quick to ask God to change things so that we may benefit.

Unfortunately, many people are discouraged when their prayers for new circumstances seemingly fall on deaf ears. Whether it’s a wayward child, a lack of employment or the illness of a loved one, we plead for God to change things, and yet the situation remains the same. This is true even in the seemingly mundane trials of life – those admittedly minor inconveniences that can cause a disproportionate amount of stress in our days. We want God to jump in and fix our problem, and while we recognize that He is perfectly capable of doing so, often He does not.

What I’ve recently learned is that perhaps my prayer for a quick fix is insufficient. This isn’t to say that God doesn’t answer it because it does meet some type of prescribed standard, but instead that I’m only looking at the situation from a partial perspective. From my vantage point the way that the situation becomes better is for God to change it. From His viewpoint, it may be better still to instead provide me with what I need in order to walk through the difficulty and glorify Him regardless. In other words – it is proper that I ask God to intervene on my behalf – and as a loving Father He often graciously grants my request (Luke 11:5-13). But instead of only asking for the circumstance to change, it may be wise for me to ask that if it does not, that He gives me the grace to walk through it in a manner that pleases Him.

Adding this addendum to my petition may seem insignificant, but it accomplishes at least two things. First, it reminds me of the fact that I need to trust God with the decision of whether or not the difficulty that I’m facing should be obliterated. He may, in His infinite wisdom, decide that my good and His glory are better served not by removing me from the challenging situation, but  by me remaining in it. Secondly, adding this addition to my request serves as recognition that if things don’t change, this doesn’t give me free reign to complain or otherwise gripe about the difficulty I’m facing. Instead, God is willing to graciously grant me something else – the grace I need to glorify Him through it. God doesn’t leave us in challenging circumstances because of indifference; through them, He desires to accomplish something good.

It’s easy to ask God to remove the bad things from our lives. We are less inclined to ask Him to grant us grace to walk through the trials in a manner that is worthy of being called His child. Yet as we do so, not only may we view our circumstances a little more from a Heavenly perspective, but we will likely bring Him more glory and acclaim – whether the trials are removed or whether they are not.

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Total Dependence

January 8, 2013 — 6 Comments
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A few weeks ago, we brought our first-born home from the hospital. For those readers who are parents, you know that there is nothing quite like those early days of parenthood. As I reflect back on the first two weeks of having our child at home, I am startled by how much time was spent preparing for the process of giving birth contrasted with the preparation for when the child actually arrives. Although I gave birth without the benefits of an epidural or other pain medications, I think that process was far less challenging than those first couple weeks at home. Life changes in radical, and for me, unanticipated ways when a child is added to your family. Adjusting to those changes is well worth the reward, but the adjustments are difficult nonetheless.

For me, the biggest challenge was the recognition that this little person was totally dependent on me. Because we have chosen to provide nourishment for our child through nursing, I was on call 24-7 if she was hungry. Two-week olds don’t really understand their momma’s need for a schedule or structure, and so their demand for food isn’t contingent on the convenience of providing it. Similarly, their sleeping patterns are not formed as a function of how much or how little sleep their parents are used to getting.  Providing everything this little life needs is time-consuming and exhausting, and there appears to be little appreciation on the child’s part for doing so.

Yet, as I ponder these things, I can’t help but learned from my little one. After all, while it seems that she is completely dependent upon me, in reality, the both of us are completely dependent upon God (Acts 17:28). If I were to emulate in my relationship with God the trust and assurance that she displays towards me, not only would be relationship with Him be deeper and stronger, but I would be more steadfast as I walk the path that He has prepared for me. If I were to turn to Him as quickly as my hungry child turns to me, I would be better equipped to do the work to which He has called me. Instead, I’m afraid that I am quick to mirror my child’s seemingly lack of appreciation, while ignoring the other lessons that her dependence illustrates.

The goal for my child is that one day she will outgrow her dependence on me. It is our hope that she will one day be able to feed, provide and take care of herself and her ability to do so will be a mark of her maturity. For the Christian, the exact opposite is true. A mark of maturity is their increasing dependence upon their heavenly Father. As we do so, not only do we become like little children (Mt. 18:3), but we increasingly walk as Jesus did (I John 2:6; John 5:19).

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Good Timing

November 28, 2012 — Leave a comment
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A friend and I were texting recently about some good news she received. As we were doing so, we were struck by the timing that God had orchestrated. It was one of those “I love it when a plan comes together” types of occurrences, where everything seemed to be falling into place and this last piece of the puzzle, which was long-awaited for, fit nicely in right where it should be.

In the midst of thanking God for His graciousness in coordinating details so that this good fortune would occur at just the right time, I was reminded  that God’s timing is good regardless of whether we recognize it or not. Sometimes, as in this case, we can see God’s hand at work and we joyfully celebrate that He has brought to completion the good work that we believe He had started. Other times, His plans are not so obvious. When we receive bad news, when the long-awaited opportunity doesn’t come, or when we patiently wait only to be disappointed at the outcome, we can be reticent to rejoice at God’s timing. We may wonder what He’s doing or question why He’s doing it, forgetting that both in the sunshine and in the rain, God is working out His good purposes.

However, despite what it may look like from our perspective God is not inconsistent with how He manages the details of our lives. His children can have confidence that He is always working for our good and for His glory (See Rom. 8:28). The good news we receive doesn’t increase His proclivity towards this aim, and the bad news we experience doesn’t prevent it. As is the case with any good father, he knows that our desires and plans may not be the best. He is willing to wait in order to give His children not merely acceptable gifts, but good ones, the best ones. He has promised not to withhold from us any good thing. If we truly believe that, than we can confidently trust God’s wisdom in choosing what He gives us and rely on His timing for when He does.

It’s easy to celebrate when the graciousness of God’s timing is made abundantly obvious to us. It’s more difficult to do so when this isn’t as readily apparent. However, whether we see it or not, we can trust that God’s timing is good. If we kept this perspective, perhaps we would be more inclined to find joy in Him, regardless of the type of news we receive.

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Bits & Pieces (11/28/12)

November 28, 2012 — Leave a comment

Great Purpose - Struggling with why God has allowed something to happen in your life? Read this short but powerful quotation.

Forgiveness in Marriage - “How we can settle for such less when we reduce ‘love’ to a mere warm and fuzzy emotion! The Gospel—which is love’s highest and best expression ever to appear on earth—is anything but warm and fuzzy! It is a deliberate act, a choice of self-sacrificing for the good of the other party forgiving them in spite of whatever wrong they have done. Truly, love is not fuzzy; it’s hardcore.”

What is a Christian’s Responsibility to Government? - “The function of government is to restrain evil and to maintain, uphold, and protect the sanctity of life and of property. Given this function, the Christian understands that government is ordained of God, and so Christians, first of all, are called to respect whatever it is that God institutes and ordains.”

The Act of Gratitude - “Gratitude lies in contingency, in the recognition that the goods we have might not have been.  I was recently asked by a friend what single thought they should take away from reading Chesterton’s Orthodoxy, and I answered along these lines.  Joy comes conditionally, as the recognition and response to the limits on our lives.  But it also comes conditionally in a deeper sense.  The contingency of the world is tied to its goodness, and our celebration of joy is inextricable from the wonder that all might have been different than it is…”

A Challenge to Be Tolerant  – “Everybody has a point of view they think is right and everybody judges at some point or another.  The Christian gets pigeon-holed as the judgmental one, but everyone else is judging, too.  It’s an inescapable consequence of believing in any kind of morality. ”

Four Words That Change Every Situation - “There is no situation too great for God. There is no heart too hard for God. There is no budget too tight for God. There is no boss too difficult for God. God is your helper! He is my helper! Those four words change every situation.”

 

 

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On the Edge of Eternity

November 27, 2012 — Leave a comment

We’ve all heard of those moments where someone’s life flashes before their eyes. They get an unexpected diagnosis or providentially escape from what seems like a certain accident, and they realize that what they have been living for is not nearly as significant as what they should be living for. It’s in those moments that people began to count the costs of their decisions, to question whether their quest for temporal success and accolades are worth the sacrifices and compromises that they have made.

Christians, however, shouldn’t wait until those near-miss moments in order to consider whether their lives are focused on the right things, on the eternal things.  As A.W. Tozer reminds us:

We who live in this nervous age would be wise to meditate on our lives and our days long and often before the face of God and on the edge of eternity. For we are made for eternity as surely as we are made for time, and as responsible moral beings we must deal with both.

In other words, as much as we are apt to spend considerable time and effort dealing with the cares and concerns of this present age, we should spend at least equal time contemplating our lives in light of God’s perspective. Our lives are one unexpected moment away from standing before our Creator. We would be wise to not only recognize that fact, but to make choices and decisions accordingly.

We live on the edge of eternity. The question is – do our calendars, cares, and character reflect that fact?

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