Better Things Ahead

One of the best things about kids is their absolute abandonment. Most of the times, kids are so unaware of themselves that they are willing to do things that as “civilized” adults we would never do. I remember one time when I was younger we were at a baseball game and I asked some man sitting next to me if I could borrow his binoculars. My parents were aghast but up until they expressed their astonishment I didn’t see anything wrong with the request. Similarly, while I was in Kenya my favorite people to talk to were the children. I didn’t feel any judgment or an awareness of my huge cultural ignorance. They were friends with me from the moment we shook hands.

Absolute abandonment is usually accompanied by wonder because it means that you are able to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. When you are free from contrived restraints, the opportunities for joy are boundless. I think this is why Christ commands us to become like little children; children take pleasure in what they’ve been given and find a myriad of ways to enjoy simple things. My niece can play with a piece of tissue paper indefinitely. As is often the case, at Christmas she was more enthralled with the packaging then the actual gifts. She found amazement in recycled tree bark during a season in which many adults are trying to ensure their status through their acquisition of possessions. Children discover that through enjoying what they have, further acquisition is unnecessary and they are amazed at their good fortune.

May we view all of God’s gifts similarly.

I’m not the biggest fan of Disneyland. I realize that this is anathema to many people, one of them who happens to be my sister, but alas, its true. Disneyland is highly over-rated. Maybe its great for children, but for adults I don’t understand the allure.

For a while, I didn’t know why I was apathetic to the Magic Kingdom, but I’ve recently realized the cause. When you are at Disneyland (or any Disney theme park), everything is a poor substitute for something real. Instead of climbing the Matterhorn, you ride around a caricature of it in a cart. Instead of visiting various cultures, you glide in a boat listening to an annoyingly persistent song. Every experience at Disneyland is a manufactured one – designed to create a reduced representation of something great. It’s called the place “where dreams come true”, but its not. Its where contrived versions of dreams are produced and where people settle for less than greatness in exchange for convenience. And the really weird thing is that when you are there, you really are in another world. You can spend an entire day in one of Disney’s parks and never venture into the community in which it resides. You were there, without ever making an appearance. This may or may not have been Walt’s original intention, but it is what’s come to be.

I fear that being content with manufactured experiences isn’t exclusive to Disney, We all settle for less – sometimes its cause of fear, other times its because of expense, sometimes its just laziness. God has given us a banquet and we opt for fast food. Instead, may we always experience the bountifulness of His blessings.

As a youth, I infamously remarked once “it’s the gift that counts.” Years of teasing, and frequent attempts at trying to explain, have left me with one conclusion. . . I was right. It is the gift that counts, if you’re the giver.

This was brought to mind recently when I heard a pastor exposit on contentedness. This is a subject that’s near and dear to my heart and so I listened with rapt attention. One point that I found extremely interesting was that God commands us to be content with what we do have, not content with what we’re without (Mike Fabarez, Nov. 28, 2007). In other words, the focus is not on our lack, its on our abundance. Regardless of what we have, all of God’s children have exceeding riches (See Ephesians 1:7). Additionally God has given us many physical things “for our enjoyment” (See I Timothy 6:17). Some, those who are ascetics, believe that physical goods are trappings and should be disposed of. However, Paul makes it clear that we are to trust that these good things come from the One who is Good, and enjoy them accordingly.

Continuing his charge, Paul admonishes those who are rich in physical goods to share generously with others. Although this goes outside of the bounds of Paul’s instructions, I believe that one of the reasons for this is because it is the most pronounced way that we can enjoy these physical blessings. When we share with others, our enjoyment increases. When we can use what we’ve been given to be a blessing, we’ve helped advance the Kingdom. Giving isn’t just good for the recipient, its good for the giver. It brings the giver enjoyment.

My remark from when I was younger was, in all honesty, a mistake. But sometimes the “folly of our youth” can prove more wise than we originally anticipated.

I’m a world-class worrier. I’m pretty sure that if there was a contest for worrying, I could take the crown. Although age has taught me to mitigate this tendency I still tend to be overly concern about things over which I have no control. I want those I care about to be happy, and I want to do whatever I can to assure that this status is obtained.

The thing about worry is that it really doesn’t do anybody any good. It uses up valuable time, energy and resources, and in my case, often causes a lack of sleep. Actions that are motivated by concern have a much greater result. After all, is through our behaviors that we are able to change things.

There are things in life that we have control over. There are other things in life that we don’t. Might as well focus on the things we can change. Then we won’t have time to worry about everything else.

There is no use worrying about things over which you have no control, and if you have control, you can do something about them instead of worrying.”
–Stanley C. Allyn,
former CEO of National Cash Register Co.

I’ve been known to extol the benefits of ambivalence. Being unconcerned about what happens creates lower stress, healthier outlooks, and reduces the likelihood of unmet expectations. Ambivalence can be the way to go, especially when your goal is to be as unattached as possible.

Despite my praise for ambivalence, I’m very bad at practicing it. I remember the day in 5th grade where I decided I wasn’t going to care so much. Unfortunately that just manifested itself in an unwillingness to express my emotions. Ironically, I still cared a lot, it was just that no one knew it. My pseudo-ambivalence actually led to more stress because I had all these emotions brewing inside with no outlet. I just wasn’t wired for ambivalence. Doing my best has always been how I’ve gone about life, and resigning myself to less than that was unacceptable.

Today, however, I did realize that there was an alternative. Instead of ambivalence, I could practice acceptance. Usually, this word is used to describe relationships between people, but it doesn’t have to be used that way. It can also mean a willingness to consider those things in life that we can have an impact on and choosing to accept things outside of that circumference. Very few things in life are radically different as a result of our actions, so why worry about them? We can waste valuable time, energy and resources trying to change things for which we lack control, or we can accept that sometimes this is the way things are. It doesn’t mean that we stop caring, it just means that we acknowledge that God hasn’t willed us His throne. He’s still on it, and the things that are in His hands, aren’t in ours.

I’m confident that an attitude of acceptance breeds peace. It’s why we can have confidence in God’s repeated commandment to not fear. When we take things as they come, there’s no place for anticipating despair. And that’s the place I want to be.