To Be Unworthy

“I’m not worthy.”

This saying, accompanied by a perfunctory and dramatic bow, has become a common way of acknowledging a noteworthy achievement. Who can say where it started, but it is now a well-recognized practice for paying tribute to the superiority of another’s performance. It attests to our own deficiency in light of someone else’s accomplishments and has been humorously used to honor excellence in a variety of fields and settings.

In the Bible, the author of Hebrews also writes about being unworthy but does so from an entirely different vantagepoint.  Hebrews 11 recalls the faith of specific individuals known for their closeness with God and demonstrates that although these individuals did not always receive their recompense on Earth, God would be faithful to honor and reward them in eternity. Often called “The Hall of Faith” it reviews a veritable “Who’s Who” of those who diligently walked with their Heavenly Father, trusting in Him even when external circumstances were uncertain. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, and David, plus many others, are commended for their faithful reliance on God. After recounting the examples of those he names, the author of Hebrews ends by recalling the experiences of many unspecified yet faithful believers. In this final summary, he describes how they suffered and then declares that although many of them experienced pain and harm in this life, in reality the world itself was “not worthy” of them (Heb. 11:38).

This description of unworthiness is remarkable when considering it is being made from the standpoint of eternity After all, when Christians think about unworthiness we often (and rightly) think about how we are unworthy of Christ’s great sacrifice for us. This is where we can truly witness disparity between what is given and what it deserved. These verses, however, are talking about fallen human beings; why would a sinful world be unworthy of them? Furthermore, it doesn’t take long to realize that each individual that is listed had seasons where they demonstrated a significant lack of faith, when their lives seemed worthy of condemnation, not acclaim. For example, on two different occasions Abraham lied about the fact that Sarah was his wife (Gen. 12:11-13; 20:2) demonstrating that he did not have faith that God was sufficient to protect him in unfamiliar lands. Jacob tricked his brother into securing a birthright, and then tricked his father into securing a blessing, because he did not have faith in God’s future provision. Because of his lack of faith, Moses was not able to enter the Promise Land. Quite famously, David followed his own desires rather than God’s and as a result committed adultery and murder. Yet despite these rather glaring departures from God’s path, God, through the author of Hebrews, still extoled the faithfulness of each of them; He still considered their lives worthy of praise. This was because the overall direction of their lives exhibited a confident reliance on Him. Ultimately their hope rested on Who God is rather than on what is in this world, and so the world, and the people that inhabit it, could not be counted worthy of them. Their trust in God was of greater value than any honor this Earth could bestow.

This description, this acknowledgement that the world was not worthy of them, should still be true for those who follow God. The overall trajectory of our lives should demonstrate that our confidence and dependence is in Him, not on anything less. Our lives should visibly showcase that trusting in His provision is of far greater value than any accolade or achievement that the world could grant. We should strive to live such exemplary lives of faithfulness that the darkness of this world is overwhelmed by the radiance of our trust. We do this not for our glory and praise, but for the glory of the One on Whom we depend. The sinful world cannot be counted worthy of the faithful lives of God’s kids.

When looking at the Hall of Faith, it is an encouraging to know that although their lives were not without sin, God continued to commend and use the lives of those who faithfully depended upon Him. Their obedience and trust frequently earned them the approbation of the world, but also the affirmation of their eternal King. When we perceive that we are not getting what we deserve from this world, let us remember that for faithful believers, this world will never be able to bestow a sufficient reward. May our faith in God be so profound that the world cannot be counted worthy of it. Instead, may our lives be counted worthy of the affirmation that really matters, that of hearing our Savior commend us for faithfully following Him.

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Choosing Our Memories

Over the past year, I have heard a lot of ideas about how we will remember this season in our global history. For most of us, this is the first time that we have experienced a pandemic, and there have been plenty of musings about whether our collective recollection will be filled with masks, lockdowns, and missed opportunities. What has often been neglected in these discussions is that, as with any other season, each of us can choose what our memories will be. Of course, there is much that is outside of our control; we can’t control who we lost to the virus or how it devastated the health of some, while seeming to barely impact others. Most of us have no way of impacting government mandates or solving backlogs in supply chains. Few of us will play a direct role in how the pandemic ends and it is likely that we will have a relatively limited impact on the way society moves forward. However, we do have a choice about where we center our thoughts. We can choose to spend our days acknowledging what God has given us, or on focusing on what we desired, but didn’t get. We can choose to dread situations outside our control, or choose to rely on the One who is sovereign over all. We can let fear dictate our feelings, or we can choose love and grace despite the circumstances that we face. Our memories are formed based on what we fixed our minds on, and for the Christian, they should strive to always focus their thoughts on God.

When I look back on the COVID-19 pandemic, it will be hard for me to think about it without thinking of sourdough bread. Early on during the stay-at-home order, I learned how to make it thanks to the generosity and patient coaching of some friends. While I originally thought my sourdough career would be rather short-lived, I have continued to bake it for the past 12 months. It started as a pandemic past time but has quickly grown in significance. It has become a means for blessing others and a way to demonstrate care for those inside my home as it is now one of my kids’ favorite after-school snacks. It has been evidence of God’s goodness, as I have obtained the necessary ingredients to keep it going, even when grocery store shelves seemed to be bare. It has been a lesson in patience, in planning, in creativity, and in trust as I am never sure what the outcome will be until many hours of prep time have already been spent. The snapshots of this season may be filled with loaves, but when I bring those memories to mind, they are filled with reminders of God’s kindness and grace. And if something as inconsequential as a loaf of bread can generate memories of God’s goodness to us, there is very little else that can’t. Our job is to choose to focus our attention on what God is doing, rather than on what He’s not.

When looking back on this time, or any other season of life, the challenge is remembering that the external circumstances don’t get to define what the season signifies to us. We can choose to interpret seasons in light of Who God is, because we know that while seasons change, He does not. We can commit to grow in our trust of Him despite the difficulties, rather than allowing our confidence to be swallowed by the uncertainty of the moment. Our memories are formed based on what we dedicate our attention to and what is important to us. We can choose how we will remember this season by fixing our eyes on Him and seeing Him working through the joys and the pain. If we do so, our memories of this time will be replete with reminders that no matter what we go through, our God is greater than any season we face and faithful in every one of them.

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