A frequent visitor in many homes is the “honey-do list.” This list, usually kept by the wife and given to the husband, is a recount of what projects need to be completed around the house. It is an account of what tasks remain unfinished and is usually distributed on a day off in the hopes of encouraging their final completion.
Honey-do lists serve a useful purpose in that they help identify areas of focus. However, sometimes I think it would be helpful if we also kept a “honey-done list.” If we were as purposeful about remembering what has already been accomplished, the ways that our spouse has already blessed us, as we were about remembering what remains unfinished, it would likely benefit out marriage. Even if the honey-done list is just a mental one, it is important to remind ourselves of the ways that our husband or wife have served us or our family and in doing so demonstrated their love. We can become some focused on what remains, that we forget what has already been accomplished. And in doing so, we may neglect to show the proper appreciation and gratitude to the one God has given us.
Throughout Scripture we are commanded to remember – to think upon the things that God has done in order to have confidence and hope in the future (E.g. Deut. 8:18, Ps. 77:11, Eph. 2:12-13). We would do well to apply this to our marriages too. After all, when we remember all that our spouse has done for us, we may be willing to forgive the honey-to-do list that continues to grow. And we’re more apt to show the kind of appreciation and love to our spouse that God desires His church to show Him (See Eph. 5:22-33).