What Women Want

Women are a mystery.

This statement is said so often we’ve begun to just accept it as true.  In fact, it has permeated our culture. In 2000, Mel Gibson starred in What Women Want, a movie that pondered what would happen if a guy could hear everything that goes on in women’s heads. Around the same time, a popular song by Christina Aguilera seemed to answer this question as she boldly proclaimed What a Girl Wants. Both these vestiges of pop culture were based on the same thing – that guys, for the most part, don’t know what women want., and these venues sought to provide answers.

It’s not surprising that we don’t find a lot of true answers from movies and pop songs.  After all, most of the time the standard of these girls is different for the standard for the woman who is pursuing God. So it begs the question – what does the girl who is following Christ want? Although the list probably varies from person to person, there are some commonalities that I think exist. So whether you are a guy trying to be the man that a Christ-following woman needs, or a gal who is trying to determine whether a guy meets the standards, here are a few things to consider:

  • A man who is growing in Christ – Please notice that I didn’t say a “Christian.” Unfortunately, this has become too simplistic of a distinction. People may say that they are a Christian because they grew up in church, because they are American, or simply because that’s what they think you want to hear. A woman of God, however, needs someone who is growing in Christ. The man should someone who is passionately pursuing their Savior, and in doing so, is someone who can motivate and encourage others to passionately pursue Him.
  • A man who will treat her like a princess – Along with the first thing listed, this is what my parents prayed for their girls. They wanted to us to marry someone who loved Christ and who treated us like a princess. Now this doesn’t mean that a woman wants someone who she can boss around – a loyal subject. What it means is that the woman wants someone who will cherish and honor her in the same way that a country cherishes and honors their royalty. Women want someone who will protect them and defend them – and not only  against physical attacks, but who will protect and defend their heart from hurt as well.
  • To laugh – I hesitated in putting this on the list because I don’t want every guy thinking he has to be a stand-up comedian. But, here’s the thing – life is difficult. It’s good to have someone that you can laugh with. That doesn’t meant that the guy has to daily come up with a bunch of jokes, but it does mean that they are willing to find humor in some of the more inane moments of life. And when I talk to girls about what they are looking for in a guy, “sense of humor” is almost always on the list. Plus, there’s this to consider –   true laughter happens with those that you are comfortable with – and a woman wants someone that she can be herself around.

I’m sure that there are more things that different women would add to this list. But this is a start. And perhaps in thinking through these things we find that women aren’t such a mystery after all.


  1. This was very helpful.

    It can be very confusing as to what to offer. I think sometimes i get caught up in making sure that I do everything right and offer everything a girl is looking for. But what I am realizing is that I can only offer up myself. I can only give what I am putting in to myself. So instead of trying to figure out the very things that women are looking for I have started to work on developing myself, my faith, my attitude, my patience, my understanding, and my caring.

    We will see what happens 🙂

    1. Glad it was helpful. 🙂

      One of the things that I think prompts that type of confusion is we tend to focus on outcomes rather than causes. What I mean is this, you hear a girl saying, “I want a guy who has a good job” and think – “I better go start climbing the corporate ladder.” Now, sure there are some girls who mean, “I want a guy who can buy me nice things” but what a godly woman means by that is “I want a guy who will take care of me.” Because we confuse outcomes with causes guys start focusing on the wrong things. No wonder we seem like a mystery!

      But I think you have the right idea….focus on the man God wants you to be – and the girl He wants for you, will want those things too.

  2. Nicely said. So grateful that God gave you the man He did – and he does such a great job in treating you like a princess.

  3. Oh my gosh yes! Natalie you hit the nail on the head! This was so great and you are so right! See you tomorrow! 🙂

  4. I loved reading this one! It reminded me that I am so blessed to have a husband that fits all of those criteria and how grateful I am that God blessed me with him.

What do you think?