Any time you have a discussion about dating, inevitably the subject of waiting for the right guy comes up. After all, as Ross learned in an episode of Friends, little girls have been planning their wedding days since they were four years old. By the time you are in your 20’s that wait seems like a lifetime, and I guess, in reality, it has almost been one.
I got married when I was 28, and although I didn’t (and still don’t) consider that “old,” I know that for some girls that seems like an ancient age to get married. And I heard every piece of advice imaginable about how I could “speed up” that process. However, I never understood that. If I was waiting for the guy that God had planned for me, why should I be anxious if He hadn’t brought him to me yet? There had to be a reason and so it seemed unreasonable to compare my circumstances to other people who may have gotten married earlier in life. After all, I didn’t want the guy that they had married. I wanted the guy that God had planned for me.
However, all that being said, I believe that there are (at least) three things that we should do while we wait:
1. Pray…. a lot. – I think my parents starting praying for the guy that I would one day marry right around the time that I was born. I was a little slower on the uptake. However, pray for him I did. I find that so many young ladies are praying that God would bring someone into their lives, that they forget to actually pray for that person. Ask that God would be drawing your future husband to Himself. Plead that God would be central in his life. Pray that God would be working in him to make him the man that you need. These are all important considerations. Yet, often time we wait until after we’ve found the person that we “think” is the one to bring these petitions before God. Why not do it on the front end?
2. Ask yourself the 5 questions. As I wrote about previously, there are at least five questions that a girl should be asking herself as she prepares to one day be married. Be prepared for marriage is no easy (or quick) task. If God hasn’t brought your spouse to you yet, get started on making sure you truly love Him, that you are prepared to trust, sacrifice and accept the responsibility of marriage, and that you are practicing showing respect. Trust me when I say it is much better to get these things in place before you’ve found the special someone, rather than developing them after the fact.
3. Do what you’ve been called to – So many times I talk to girls who are waiting for Mr. Right, and all they’re doing is exactly that – waiting around until God brings them someone and then letting that person determine the course of their lives. If God hasn’t brought you someone yet, He’s not wasting that time – and neither should you. You need to be figuring out how God wants you to use this season where you have “minimal” relational responsibilities. Don’t think that when the guy comes around that’s the time to figure out how God wants to use you. He wants to use you now. Get busy doing His work.
Waiting is rarely easy. But when it comes to marriage, it’s important to wait until God brings you the one He’s designed for you. And that until then, you’re doing what you can to be prepared for His “good and perfect gift.”