Like most girls, when I was younger, I could list the things that I wanted in a guy. Some of these things were important, some of them weren’t. Hopefully, the older and more mature I got the list was filled more with important things than unimportant ones.
However, now that I’m married, I find that one of the best gifts God has given me is a husband who I can use as an example of the type of guy a girl should marry. I can say, “You’re not sure what type of man God as for you? You should look for a guy like this” and describe who my husband is. This isn’t to say that our marriage is perfect, no marriage is, but it is far better than I could have hoped for or imagined. One of the primary reasons for this is because of the wonderful man that I get to call my husband. What I’ve learned is that if you’re married to the type of guy that you would tell young women to marry, than that’s a pretty good thing, and what I tell them is that they should look for:
- A Guy That Loves You Like This – One of the best things about my husband is the manner in which he loves me. I know that must sound selfish, but I’m blessed to be married to a guy that takes my burden as his own, who strives to protect me from both physical and emotional hurt, and who wants for me to be happy. These are wonderful things to look for in a relationship.
- A Guy that Leads Like This – Not only does my husband love me well, but he leads well because he leads with his eyes firmly focused on Christ. Because of this, he’s looking towards the “big picture’ and not the temporary annoyances of today. Obviously, I benefit from this, but I’m not the only one. Wherever he goes, this is how he leads – humbly, with his heart fixed on our King.
- A Guy that Serves Like This – Although my husband is a great leader, he is perhaps an even greater servant. Because his leadership is Christ-focused, so is his service. I don’t know if I have ever witnessed my husband be concerned about the personal cost of his service. He is always willing to go the extra mile and spend the extra time, because he knows that the manner in which he serves, as well as the service itself, is reflective of our Lord. He serves well, which motivates me to serve well also.
- A Guy who Loves Christ Like This – My husband is able to love, lead and serve well because of his love for Christ. As has hopefully been shown above this is his primary focus – loving Christ in a manner that it dominates every other area of his life. There aren’t many ways to predict how a marriage will turn out, but marrying a guy who loves Christ well (and loving Christ well yourself) is an unbeatable foundation to build on.
It’s hard to always discern what to look for in a spouse; it’s hard to know what will matter in 20, 30, 40 years. While we haven’t gotten there yet, I believe all these things will. And it’s a magnificent blessing to be married to someone that you can point to and say, “look for a guy like this.”