5 Questions A Girl Should Ask

Recently, I read this article about questions that every guy should ask about his date.  It got me thinking – what are the questions every girl should ask? Here are five:

1) Does he truly love God? – Just like the author of the article states, this means more than just finding someone at church. There’s a difference between someone who says that they are a Christian, and someone who is a Christian. If “Christian” is a label and not a lifestyle than that is not someone who truly loves God. You need to ask – “Is God their number one priority – even over me?” This is critical for a lasting relationship that reflects God’s design.

2) Do I trust him? – And to really expand on that question, it’s “Do I trust him…with my life?” I had a friend who knew that she trusted her one-day husband because she would fall asleep in the car while he was driving. This was an indication to her that this was someone who she could trust her life with.  A relationship where you are constantly questioning the other person’s decision, isn’t a relationship that’s worth being in. You need to ask yourself “Would I want this person to make decisions about my life?” Because sooner or later, their decisions will affect your life.

3) Does he cherish me? – It’s easy these days to talk about love. The problem is that we say we love everything from peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to the person that we’re married to. Because the definition of love has become so convoluted, I like to use the word cherish. Does the guy treasure you? Is he looking after your best interests? Does he care about you enough to tell you when you’re making a mistake or does he just let you do it? Your guy should want to protect you, to keep you from harm, because he recognizes that a woman who loves God is more precious than a rare jewel.

4) Where is he going? …and do I want to go there? Everyone is going somewhere. If you’re going to be in a relationship with this guy, than you’ll end up on the same path that he is. Is that a path you want to be on? We tend to think that those things will work themselves out as we are in a relationship, but they rarely do. If someone is walking a path (or if they aren’t walking anywhere), that says something about who that person is. Recognize that how he lives his life will inevitably influenced how your life is lived. Is he heading in a direction that you want to head?

5) Do I want to change him? – If you enter a relationship thinking “this is a great guy, except for X,Y, and Z”  – you have to wonder is that really the guy for you? People will change as relationships grow and time passes on, but if you’re starting a relationship with the idea that you want the person to be someone other than he is, than why don’t you find the guy that you want him to be instead? It’d be better to be like the movie Jerry Maguire in which Renee Zellweger’s character says about Jerry, “I love him for the man that he is and the man he wants to become.” It’s good for a guy to want to grow, and you should encourage that. But at the same time, you need to love him for who he is now, not the person you’re hoping to mold him into being.

I often tell people that, after my salvation in Christ, my husband is the best thing to happen to me.  While there are many reasons for this, a lot of them have to do with the fact that our relationship had the right answers to the above questions. I hope that more relationships can say the same.

What do you think? What other questions should you ask about your date?



  1. Natalie this is awesome. This will be how my Bible class begins on Monday. Freshman girls are into boys/dates/sex/relationships even if it’s just to talk about them. Thanks for making a difference.

    1. Thanks for encouraging me that I am making a difference. So appreciate your kind words!

      If they have Facebook you can tell them they can get the latest posts by “liking” my author page (www.facebook.com/NaWinterAuthor) But if that’s weird to do, no worries. Either way, I’m glad that the words can be used to encourage them to pursue God’s best for them.

  2. love this. a passion for me in our ministry to college students and young adults is to see them experience and enjoy godly dating/marriage relationships – i count myself, like you, blessed to have a love story written by the Father Himself.

    1. “A love story written by the father Himself” –> Love this! What a great way to consider our marriages.

      Thanks for your sweet words. I’m grateful for people like you who share a passion for young adults to know and serve God through all areas of their lives.

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