Recently I’ve had the awkward experience of someone assuming that I “liked” one of my guy friends. Not knowing the person well, I couldn’t set the record straight, although it did make me wonder why the thought would have entered their mind. In sharing with another friend, he wisely said, “maybe she just doesn’t know that you’re nice to everybody and so she thinks it means something.” I agreed and shrugged my shoulders. What else could I do? Its not a situation that I’m totally unfamiliar with and through the years I’ve learned its easier to roll with it rather than defend my intentions.
What’s been impressed on my heart even more recently though is that while people may think I’m nice, I’m not sure I’m very good at sharing the motivations behind it. Even some of my best friends just think, “well that’s Natalie, she’s a nice person”, which while I wish were true, I also recognize is horribly inaccurate. I’m not a nice person. I’m selfish, and a little too independent, and can be as stubborn as all get out. Who I am is a sinner, who, through God’s saving grace, is hopefully developing a regenerate heart that more accurately reflects His love and His goodness each and every day. Its not that I’m nice – its that God’s been so gracious to me, I’m compelled to share His goodness with others.
I haven’t figured out how to more accurately conveyed this since I’m one of those people who show love through actions rather than words. But maybe knowing more clearly in my own mind why I am nice will help me share this motivation with others. And then maybe my reflection of Christ’s love will shine a little brighter as a result.